There are lots of ways to improve your self-confidence over the long-term – but sometimes you need an instant boost. You can’t walk into an important work meeting, (or a class at college or a room full of strangers at a party) whilst frantically re-reading a self-help manual, or making a last-minute phone call to your life-coach. So here are ten secrets to boosting your self-confidence in just a few seconds…
在一段長時間內，用來提升自信的方法有許多種——但是，有時候我們卻需要一種即時的激勵。相信，誰也不能夠在匆忙地再次閱讀一本自助手冊，或者給你的生活導師通完電話之後就能夠馬上信心十足地投入一個重要的工作會議，或開始大學課程或者參加一個全是素不相識之人的聚會。所以，下面就為大家介紹在數秒鐘之內激發自信的10個祕訣......
1. Smile
The one-second tip for when you’re feeling nervous and unconfident is simply to smile! You don’t just smile because you are happy and confident – you can smile to make yourself feel better. The act of smiling is so strongly associated with positive feelings that it’s almost impossible to feel bad while smiling.
Smiling is much more then just a facial expression. The simple act of smiling releases feel-good endorphins, improves circulation to the face, makes you feel good about yourself in general and can definitely increase your self confidence. … you will also appear more confident to others while you’re smiling.
祕訣之一: 微笑
在你感到焦慮不安、缺乏信心之時，使你即刻解脫的祕訣是——非常簡單——微笑!我們不只在心中充滿喜悅和自信的時候才可以微笑——我們也可以用微笑來讓自己感覺好一些。微笑這一行為與正面積極的情感如此緊密地聯絡在一起,所以當你微笑時，你感覺沮喪的機率微乎其微。
微笑絕不僅僅只是一種普通的面部表情。微笑，這一簡單的面部表情，可以釋放使人感到不錯的內啡肽，可以增強面部血液迴圈，可以讓你感覺自己全身順暢，當然也就能夠提升你的自信......所以，當你微笑的時候，在別人眼裡你就會更顯得自信。
2. Make eye contact
As well as smiling, meet the eyes of other people in the room. Give them your smile; you’ll almost certainly get one back, and being smiled at is a great self-confidence boost. Like smiling, eye contact shows people that you’re confident. Staring at your shoes or at the table reinforces your feelings of self-doubt and shyness. This tip is particularly useful for work-related situations – make eye contact with interviewers, or with the audience for your presentation:
Eye contact helps take the fear away from the speaker by getting the audience closer to him. Stress is mainly a result of being with the unknown and uncontrollable. Eye contact gives the speaker a picture of the reality that is the audience. It also helps in getting the attention of the audience.
祕訣之二: 保持目光接觸
像保持微笑一樣，你還需要保持與房間內的其他人都有目光接觸。先對他人微笑，幾乎總會有人迴應你的微笑，這樣的迴應就會激勵你的自信。微笑與目光接觸一樣，都表明你是個自信的人。相反，一味地盯著自己的鞋子或桌子則會讓你顯得更加缺少自信甚至害羞。這一條祕訣在工作相關的場合相當實用——求職者要與面試官保持目光接觸，產品推介者則要與你的受眾保持目光接觸。
保持目光接觸可以拉近聽眾與演講者之間的距離，從而使他們擺脫緊張的氣氛。而緊張則往往是由於演講者面對素不相識的人或無法掌控的形勢而產生的。目光的接觸則可以為演講者提供受眾的真實面貌——對方只是聽眾而已。同時,目光的接觸還有益於吸引觀眾的注意力。
3. Change your inner voice
Most of us have a critical inner voice that tells us we’re stupid, not good enough, that we’re too fat, thin, loud, quiet… Being able to change that inner voice is key to feeling self-confident on the inside, which will help you project your confidence to the world. Make your inner voice a supportive friend who knows you fully but also recognizes your talents and gifts, and wants you to make the best of yourself.
You still want to be able to hear the message, so don’t make it so chilled and laid back that you never take any notice of it. You can even choose 2, 3 or as many voices as you want for different occasions. Your voice should always support you, always be helpful, never aggressive and it never puts you down.
祕訣之三: 改變你心中發出的聲音
大多數人的內心都有這樣一種聲音，那個聲音告訴我們:我們太蠢了、不夠優秀、我們太胖了、太瘦了、聲音太大了、聲音太小了......改變我們心中的聲音才是使自己從內心感到自信起來的關鍵，這也同樣有助於我們向世人展示自己的自信。要學會控制自己心中的聲音，使其成為完全瞭解自己並同時認可你自己的才能及天賦的一個朋友，這個朋友希望你達到自己的最佳狀態。
當然，這樣的聲音你也必須要聽進去，隨之產生反應。所以，不要使其過於麻木或消極，對此置若罔聞。你甚至可以根據不同的場合，選擇兩三句甚至更多的發自內心話語。但是這些聲音都必須樂觀積極、於你有益，永遠不會使你過度自信，也不會使你灰心喪氣。
4. Forget other people’s standards
Whatever the situation that’s causing you a crisis of self-confidence, you can help yourself immeasurably by holding yourself to your own standards alone. Other people have different values from you, and however hard you try, you’ll never please everyone all of the time. Don’t worry that people will think you’re too overweight, underweight, too feckless, too boring, too frugal, too frivolous … hold yourself to your standards, not some imagined standards belonging to others. And remember that commonly-held values and standards vary from society to society: you don’t have to accept them just because the people around you do.
People’s values define what they want personally, but morals define what the society around those people want for them. Certain behaviors are considered to be desirable by a given society, while others are considered to be undesirable. For the most part, however, morals are not written in stone, or proclaimed by God above, but instead reflect local sensibilities. Different societies have different ideas about what is acceptable and not acceptable.
祕訣之四: 拋開他人價值認定標準
不管是什麼情況所導致的自信危機，你都可以進行最大限度的自我調節，方法是——堅持自己所認定的價值標準。人與人的價值觀是不同的，不管我們怎麼努力，都不可能永久取悅身邊的每個人。對於他人的想法，諸如——別人會認為我們過於胖了、過於瘦了、太軟弱了、太沒趣了、太節儉了、太輕佻了等等，你根本不必太在意，堅持自己所認定的價值標準，而不是想象之中他人所認定的價值標準。而且，務必謹記，大眾所認為的價值觀和標準會隨著社會的改變而改變:我們完全沒有必要因為自身周圍公眾所作所為而被迫接受他們的價值標準。
人們的價值觀清楚地說明了他們自己想要些什麼，而道德標準則清楚地說明了這些人所組成的社會想要些什麼。某些行為是能夠被一個特定社會所接受的，而某些行為則不被接受。然而，從很大程度上來說，道德標準不是銘刻於石頭上面的，也不是拜上帝所賜，而是當地民情的反映。不同的社會對所可以接受的行為所持的觀點也不同。
5. Make the most of your appearance
Even if you’ve only got a minute or two, duck into the bathroom to make sure you’re looking your best. Brushing your hair, giving your face a good wash, retouching your makeup, straightening your collar, checking you’ve not got a bit of parsley stuck between your teeth … all of these can make the difference between feeling confident in your physical appearance and feeling anxious about an imagined flaw.
Perfect your physical appearance: There’s no denying that one’s grooming plays a crucial role in building confidence. Although we know what’s on the inside is what truly counts, your physical appearance will be the first to create an impression.
祕訣之五: 呈現你最好的儀表
哪怕只有一兩分鐘的剩餘時間，也要衝進盥洗室裡進行梳妝，以確保自己儀表最佳。梳梳頭、洗洗臉、補補妝、拉拉衣領，檢查一下是否有香芹殘存在自己的牙縫中......這些簡單動作都將消除你對猜想的不足之處的憂慮，而使自己在衣著容貌上看起來更加自信。
改進你的儀態儀表:毫無疑問，衣著打扮在建立自信的過程中起著決定性作用。儘管人人都知道，內在美才是最重要的，但也無可否認，外在衣著打扮是給人留下深刻印象的第一要素。
6. Pray or meditate briefly
If you believe in a higher power, whether God, or another spiritual force, it can be a real boost to self-confidence to say a silent prayer. (You could also meditate instead of praying.) This helps you to take a step back from your immediate situation, to see the wider picture and to seek help from something or someone greater than yourself. This is a Christian prayer, but you could write something similar that fits your own religious beliefs or spiritual tradition:
Dear God, thank you that you love and accept me as I am … please help me to do the same … and help me to grow to become the person you want me to be so that my God-confidence and self-confidence will increase greatly—all for the glory of your name and not mine. Thank you for hearing and answering my prayer. Amen.
祕訣之六: 作短暫的祈禱或沉思
如果你信仰神靈，不論是上帝，或是其他精神力量，那麼，默默地作祈禱就可以成為激勵自信的一種有效手段。(你也可以用沉思來代替默默祈禱。)這將使我們暫時退出當前所處的環境，看得更高更遠，並向那些比我們自身偉大的.神靈尋求幫助。下面是一個基督教徒的祈禱詞，我們可以參考並寫出類似的適合你自己宗教信念或精神指引的禱告:
親愛的上帝，感謝你對我的愛和包容......請幫助我，使我愛您並且投入您的懷抱......請幫助我，讓我成為您所期望的那個人，使我大大提升對您的信仰及我的自信——一切榮耀均屬於您的名下，我不會叨光。感謝您的聆聽，感謝您迴應我的祈禱。希望這個祈禱能實現。
7. Reframe
If something unexpected happens, it’s easy to let it knock your fledgling self-confidence. Perhaps you spill your drink on someone, you arrive late for the big meeting because of traffic problems, or someone who you wanted to speak to gives you a cold brush-off. Try to “reframe” the situation; put it in the best possible light: often, events are only negative because of the meaning we attach to them.
祕訣之七: 換個角度看問題
如果有意外發生，往往很容易就能將你剛剛建立的少許自信擊碎。你可能不小心將飲料濺到別人身上，你可能由於交通堵塞而導致在重要會議上遲到，或者你想要與之交談的某人冷漠地敷衍你等等。試著“換個角度”看問題;往最好的一面去想: 通常，事物之所以具有負面意義完全是由於我們把自己的主觀思想強加在上面。
8. Find the next step
Keep your self-confidence up by taking gradual steps forwards, rather than freezing when faced with what seems like a giant leap. If you’re not sure what to do, look for one simple step that you can take to make progress. That might mean making eye contact at a party, introducing yourself to a stranger, breaking the ice in a meeting, or asking a question of your interviewers that shows your knowledge of their industry and company.
Start taking action even if you don’t have a clear idea of what needs to be done. Start moving towards your goal. Make corrections later.
祕訣之八:步步為營
通過步步為營的方式來增強自信，要遠勝於面對巨大鴻溝而停滯不前。如果你所處的情況讓你不知何去何從，不妨從簡單地一步步做起。這就可能意味著是，在聚會上與別人做目光接觸、把自己介紹給一個陌生人、打破會議僵局，或者是問面試官一個問題，表明你瞭解他們所處的行業及公司。
在還不清楚究竟需要做些什麼時，就開始展開行動，開始朝著自己的目標前進，即使犯了錯，遲些更正也不晚。
9. Speak slowly
An easy tip for both seeming and being more self-confidence is to speak slowly. If you gabble, you’ll end up feeling worse as you know you’re being unclear to your audience or to the person you’re in a conversation with. Speaking slowly gives you the chance to think about what you’re going to say next. If you’re giving a talk or presentation, pause at the end of phrases and sentences to help your audience take in what you’ve said.
A person in authority, with authority, speaks slowly. It shows confidence. A person who feels that he isn’t worth listening to will speak quickly, because he doesn’t want to keep others waiting on something not worthy of listening to.
祕訣之九: 放慢說話的速度
看起來顯得比較自信或者成為一個更加自信的人，一個簡單的祕訣就是放慢語速。如果總是喋喋不休說個不停，那麼你的聽眾或與你交談的人就會覺得你想表達的意思讓人搞不清楚。放慢語速，你就有機會思考接下來要說的內容。如果你正在發言或做推介，那麼就請在短語或句子結束之後稍作停頓，讓聽眾有時間對你所講的內容進行消化理解。
權威人士以及代表權威部門發言的人，往往語速比較慢。這說明他們很自信。一個覺得自己所講的話不值得聽的人，往往說話猶如放機關槍一般快，因為他不想讓人們為不重要的講話浪費時間。
10. Contribute something
Have you ever sat through an entire class at college or meeting at work without saying a word? Have you had an evening out where friends chatted happily while you sat and stared silently at your drink? Chances are, you weren’t feeling very self-confident at the time – and you probably felt even worse afterwards. Whatever the situation you’re in, make an effort to contribute. Even if you don’t think you have much to say, your thoughts and perspective are valuable to those around you.
By making an effort to speak up at least once in every group discussion, you’ll become a better public speaker, more confident in your own thoughts, and recognized as a leader by your peers.
祕訣之十: 積極主動開口
你是否曾經在一節大學課堂或者一次工作會議上乾坐著一言不發?你是否曾經在朋友們高興地在晚上聚會談論時獨自盯著自己的飲料發呆?在這種時刻，相信你不會感覺對自己非常自信——甚至事後，你大概會感覺更糟。不管你現在處於哪種狀態，試著主動與人交流吧。即使你覺得自己無話可說，但是，也許說出你的觀點與看法，會使你周圍的人獲益匪淺呢。
