幽默，形容有趣或可笑而意味深長。以下是小編整理的一些幽默的英語故事，希望大家喜歡!
The lecturer on evolution had been going on for nearly two hours. then he started again, and said he:"Let me ask the evolutionist a question --- if we had tails like a baboon, where are they?"
"I'll venture an answer, " said an old lady. "We have worn them off sitting here so long.".
教進化論的老師已經滔滔不絕地講了快兩個小時，他的話題又來了：“讓我向進化論者提個問題——如果我們曾經像狒狒那樣長著尾巴，那麼現在尾巴到哪裡去了?”
“我來試試看，”一位老太太說。
“該是我們在這裡坐這麼久把它們磨掉了吧。”
Teacher：We all know that beat causes an object to expand an cold cauese it to contract. Now，can anyone give me a good example?
John：Well ，in the summer the days are long，and in the winter the days are short.
老師：我們都知道熱脹冷縮的.道理。現在，誰給我舉個例子?
約翰：嗯，在夏天天都長，在冬天天都短。
幽默的英語故事【2】Teacher: Would Shakespeare be a great man if he were still alive today?
Student: Of course. He must be a great man, for so far nobody has lived to over 400 years.
一名偉人
老師：如果莎士比亞還活著，他會是一名偉人嗎?
學生：當然。因為到目前為止，還沒有人活到400多歲。
幽默的英語故事【3】A little kid fell in love with another little kid, a school mate.
Sometimes the kids think they fall in love when they have
a crush on someone else in the class, when they’re eight
or ten years old or something like that. So the eight-year-old
kid came back home and asked his father, “Father, is it
expensive to be married?” And the father said, “Yes, son,
it is very expensive.” So the son asked, “How much does it
cost?” And the father said, “I don’t know, son. I’m still paying.”
有個小孩愛上了另一個小孩，對方是學校的同學。八歲或十歲左右的孩子有時會迷戀班上某個人，然後就以為自己戀愛了。因此這個八歲的小孩回家問他爸爸：「爸爸，結婚很花錢嗎?」爸爸說：「是啊，兒子，非常花錢。」兒子又問：「要花多少錢呢?」爸爸說：「我不知道，兒子，我到現在還一直在付錢啊!」
幽默的英語故事【4】There was a guy who went into a shop to buy a parrot. There werethree parrots in the shop. One was $5,000; another one, $10,000; and the third one, $30,000. The customer asked the owner, “How come this guy is $5,000? That’s so expensive for this kindof parrot.” The owner said, “Because I have trained him and he can talk.” So the customer asked him, “How about this guy? What can he do that makes him so expensive?” The owner said, “Well, apart from talking, he can also do some amusing actions,like dancing and so on. That’s why he’s so expensive.” Then the customer said, “How about the third one? What canhe do that makes him so expensive?” The owner of the shopsaid, “I don’t know. Normally, I have never heard him talk, nor dance, nor whistle, nor sing, nothing at all! But the other two call him ‘The Boss.’”
老闆最大 有個人到一間商店買鸚鵡。店裡有三隻鸚鵡，其中一隻賣五千元，另一隻賣一萬元，還有一隻賣三萬元。顧客問老闆：「為什麼這隻要賣五千元?這個價錢對這種鸚鵡來說太貴了!」老闆說：「因為我有訓練他講話。」顧客又問：「那這隻呢?他會做什麼?為什麼要賣這麼貴?」老闆說：「他除了會說話之外，還會表演一些有趣的動作，好比說跳舞等等，所以才賣這麼貴。」顧客接著又問：「那第三隻呢?他會做什麼?為什麼要賣這麼貴?」老闆說：「我不知道。我從沒聽過他講話、吹口哨或唱歌，也沒看過他跳舞，什麼都沒有!不過另外兩隻叫他：老闆!」
