國中英語作文範文Talkaboutmyself評析

Talk about myself

My name is zhangPing fifteen years old. I live in BeiJing. One of my favorite subjects is biology. I am interested in drawing . In my free time, I often go camping, draw some picturesof plants, enjoy the songs of birds in nature. I want to be a biologist when I grow up .I am outgoing and like talking to d you like to make friends with me ? If we can be friends, I will be very glad

1.“picturesof”應改為.“pictures of”

2.文章結尾略顯不暢通，建議再寫出你交友的要求標準聯絡方式較好。例如：I like making friends who are outgoing like me,Would you like to be my friend? If you’d like to,please call me at …. I will be very glad.

3.“…picturesof plants, enjoy the …”改為.“…picturesof plants and enjoy the …”注意並列結構最後一個成分常用and 連線。

文章語句連貫，句意完整，標點正確，有較強的連片語句能力和紮實的'英語基礎。我認為除結尾以外，是一篇優秀的短文。