The wholeness of life 健全的人生
Once a circle missed a wedge. The circle wanted to be whole, so it went around looking for its missing piece. But because it was incomplete and therefore could roll only very slowly, it admired the flowers along the way. It chatted with worms. It enjoyed the sunshine. It found lots of different pieces, but none of them fit. So it left them all by the side of the road and kept on searching. Then one day the circle found a piece that fit perfectly. It was so happy. Now it could be whole, with nothing missing. It incorporated the missing piece into itself and began to roll. Now that it was a perfect circle, it could roll very fast, too fast to notice flowers or talk to the worms. When it realized how different the world seemed when it rolled so quickly, it stopped, left its found piece by the side of the road and rolled slowly away.
The lesson of the story, I suggested, was that in some strange sense we are more whole when we are missing something. The man who has everything is in some ways a poor man. He will never know what it feels like to yearn, to hope, to nourish his soul with the dream of something better. He will never know the experience of having someone who loves him give him something he has always wanted or never had.
There is a wholeness about the person who has come to terms with his limitations, who has been brave enough to let go of his unrealistic dreams and not feel like a failure for doing so. There is a wholeness about the man or woman who has learned that he or she is strong enough to go through a tragedy and survive, she can lose someone and still feel like a complete person.
Life is not a trap set for us by God so that he can condemn us for failing. Life is not a spelling bee, where no matter how many words you’ve gotten right; you’re disqualified if you make one mistake. Life is more like a baseball season, where even the best team loses one third of its games and even the worst team has its days of brilliance. Our goal is to win more games than we lose.
When we accept that imperfection is part of being human, and when we can continue rolling through life and appreciate it, we will have achieved a wholeness that others can only aspire to. That, I believe, is what God asks of us—not “Be perfect”, not “Don’t even make a mistake”, but “Be whole.”
If we are brave enough to love, strong enough to forgive, generous enough to rejoice in another’s happiness, and wise enough to know there is enough l
ove to go around for us all, then we can achieve a fulfillment that no other living creature will ever know.
從前，一隻圓圈缺了一塊楔子。它想保持完整，便四處尋找那塊楔子。由於不完整，所以它只能慢慢地滾動。一路上，它對花兒露出羨慕之色。它與蠕蟲談天侃地。它還欣賞到了陽光之美。圓圈找到了許多不同的楔子，但沒有一件與它相配。所以，它將它們統統棄置路旁，繼續尋覓。終於有一天，它找到了一個完美的配件。圓圈是那樣地高興，現在它可以說是完美無缺了。它裝好配件，並開始滾動起來。現在它已成了一個完美的圓圈，所以滾動得非常快，以至於難以觀賞花兒，也無暇與蠕蟲傾訴心聲。當圓圈意識到因快奔急騁使它失去了原有的世界時，它不禁停了下來，將找到的配件棄置路旁，又開始慢慢地滾動。
我覺得這個故事告訴我們，從某種奇妙的意義上講，當我們失去了一些東西時反而更加完整。一個擁有一切的人其實在某些方面是個窮人。他永遠也體會不到什麼是渴望、期待及如何用美好夢想滋養自己的靈魂。他也永遠不會有這樣一種體驗：一個愛他的人送給他某種他夢寐以求的或者從未擁有過的東西意味著什麼。
人生的完整性在於知道如何面對缺陷，如何勇敢地摒棄不現實的幻想而又不以此為缺憾。人生的完整性還在於學會勇敢面對人生悲劇而繼續生存，能夠在失去親人後依然表現出完整的個人風範。
人生不是上帝為譴責我們的缺陷而給我們佈下的陷阱。人生也不是一場拼字遊戲比賽，不管你拼出多少單詞，一旦出現了一個錯誤，你便前功盡棄。人生更像是一個棒球賽季，即使最好的球隊也會輸掉1/3的比賽，而最差的球隊也有春風得意的日子。我們的目標就是多贏球，少輸球。
當我們接受不完整性是人類本性的一部分，當我們不斷地進行人生滾動並能欣賞其價值時，我們就會獲得其他人僅能渴望的完整人生。我相信這就是上帝對我們的要求：不求“完美”，也不求“永不犯錯誤”，而是求得人生的“完整”。如果我們能夠勇敢地去愛，堅強地去寬容，大度地去為別人的快樂而高興，明智地理解身邊充滿愛，那麼我們就能取得別的生物所不能取得的成就。
Find Your Big Rocks Of Life 尋找你人生的大石頭
One day, an expert in time management was speaking to a group of students and, to drive home a point, used an illustration those students will never forget.
As he stood in front of the group of overachievers he said, “OK, time for a quiz.” He pulled out a one-gallon, wide-mouth jar and set it on the table in front of him. He also produced about a dozen fist-sized rocks and carefully placed them, one at a time, into the jar. When the jar was filled to the top and no more rocks would fit inside, he asked, “Is this jar full?”
Everyone in the class yelled, “Yes.” The time management expert replied, “Really?” He reached under the table and pulled out a bucket of gravel. He dumped some gravel in and shook the jar, causing pieces of gravel to work themselves down into the spaces between the big rocks. He then asked the group once more, “Is this jar full?”
By this time the class was on to him. “Probably not,” one of them answered. “Good!” he replied. He reached under the table and brought out a bucket of sand. He started dumping the sand in the jar and it went into all of the spaces left between the rocks and the gravel. Once more he asked the question, “Is this jar full?”
“No!” the class shouted. Once again he said, “Good.” Then he grabbed a pitcher of water and began to pour it in until the jar was filled to the brim. Then he looked at the class and asked, “What is the point of this illustration?” One eager student raised his hand and said, “The point is, no matter how full your schedule is, if you try really hard you can always fit some more things in it!”
“No,” the speaker replied, “that’s not the point. The truth this illustration teaches us is if you don’t put the big rocks in first, you’ll never get them in at all. What are the ‘big rocks’ in your life? Time with your loved ones, your education, your dreams, a worthy cause, teaching or mentoring others? Remember to put these big rocks in first or you’ll never get them in at all.”
一天，時間管理專家為一群學生講課。他現場做了演示，給學生們留下了一生都難以磨滅的印象。
站在那些高智商高學歷的學生前面，他說：“我們來做個小測驗”，拿出一個一加侖的廣口瓶放在他面前的桌上。隨後，他取出一堆拳頭大小的石塊，仔細地一起放進玻璃瓶裡。直到石塊高出瓶口，再也放不下了，他問道：“瓶子滿了？”
所有學生應道：“滿了！”時間管理專家反問：“真的？”他伸手從桌下拿出一桶礫石，倒了一些進去，並敲擊玻璃瓶壁使礫石填滿下面石塊的間隙。“現在瓶子滿了嗎？”他第二次問道。
但這一次學生有些明白了，“可能還沒有”，一位學生應道。“很好！”專家說。他伸手從桌下拿出一桶沙子，開始慢慢倒進玻璃瓶。沙子填滿了石塊和礫石的所有間隙。他又一次問學生：“瓶子滿了嗎？”
“沒滿！”學生們大聲說。他再一次說：“很好！”然後他拿過一壺水倒進玻璃瓶直到水面與瓶口齊平，然後抬頭看著學生，問道：“這個例子說明什麼？”一個心急的學生舉手發言：“無論你的時間多少，如果你確實努力，你可以做更多的事情！”
“不！”時間管理專家說，“那不是它真正的意思，這個例子告訴我們：如果你不是先放大石塊，那你就再也不能把它放進瓶子裡了。那麼，什麼是你生命中的大石頭呢？也許是你的.道德感、你的夢想？還有你的一切，記得先去處理這些大石塊，否則，一輩子你都不能做！”
自己選擇，讓人批評
In all one’s lifetime it is oneself that one spends the most time being with or dealing with. But it is precisely oneself that one has the least understanding of.
When you are going upwards in life you tend to overestimate yourself. It seems that everything you seek for is within your reach; luck and opportunities will come your way and you are overjoyed that they constitute part of your worth. When you are going downhill you tend to underestimate yourself, mistaking difficulties and adversities for your own incompetence. It’s likely that you think it wise for yourself to know our place and stay aloof from worldly wearing a mask of cowardice, behind which the flow of sap in your life will be retarded.
To get a thorough understanding of oneself is to gain a correct view of oneself and be a sober realist—aware of both one’s strength and shortage. You may look forward hopefully to the future but be sure not to expect too much, for ideals can never be fully realized. You may be courageous to meet challenges but it should be clear to you where to direct your efforts. That’s to way so long as you have a perfect knowledge of yourself there won’t be difficulties you can’t overcome, or obstacles you can’t surmount.
To get a thorough understanding of oneself needs self-appreciation. Whether you liken yourself to a towering tree or a blade of grass, whether you think you are a high mountain or a small stone, you represent a state of nature that has its own value. If you earnestly admire yourself you’ll have a real sense of self-appreciation, which will give you confidence. As soon as you gain full confidence in yourself you’ll be enabled to fight and overcome any adversity.
To get a thorough understanding of oneself also requires doing oneself a favor when it’s needed. In time of anger, do yourself a favor by giving vent to it in a quiet place so that you won’t be hurt by its flames; in time of sadness, do yourself a favor by sharing
it with your friends so as to change a gloomy mood into a cheerful one; in time of tiredness, do yourself a favor by getting a good sleep or taking some tonic. Show yourself loving concern about your health and daily life. As you are aware, what a person physically has is but a human body that’s vulnerable when exposed to the elements. So if you fall ill, it’s up to you to take a good care of yourself. Unless you know perfectly well when and how to do yourself a favor, you won’t be confident and ready enough to resist the attack of illness.
To get a thorough understanding of oneself is to get a full control of one’s life. Then one will find one’s life full of color and flavor.
人生在世，和“自己”相處最多，打交道最多，但是往往悟不透“自己”。
人在走上坡路時，往往把自己估計得過高，似乎一切所求的東西都唾手可得，甚至把運氣和機遇也看做自己身價的一部分而喜不自勝。人在不得意時，又往往把自己估計過低，把困難和不利也看作自己的無能，以至把安分守己、與世無爭誤認為有自知之明，而實際上往往被怯懦的面具窒息了自己鮮活的生命。
悟透自己，就是正確認識自己，也就是說要做一個冷靜的現實主義者，既知道自己的優勢，也知道自己的不足。我們可以憧憬人生，但期望值不能過高。因為在現實中，理想總是會打折扣的。可以迎接挑戰，但是必須清楚自己努力的方向。也就是說，人一旦有了自知之明，也就沒有什麼克服不了的困難，沒有什麼過不去的難關。
要悟透自己就要欣賞自己。無論你是一棵參天大樹，還是一棵小草，無論你成為一座巍峨的高山，還是一塊小小的石頭，都是一種天然，都有自己存在的價值。只要你認真地欣賞自己，你就會擁有一個真正的自我。只有自我欣賞才會有信心，一旦擁有了信心也就擁有了抵禦一切逆境的動力。
要悟透自己，就要心疼自己。在氣憤時心疼一下自己，找個僻靜處散散心，宣洩宣洩，不要讓那些無名之火傷身；憂傷時，要心疼一下自己，找三五個好友，訴說訴說，讓感情的陰天變晴；勞累時，你也要心疼一下自己，為自己來一番問寒問暖，要明白人所擁有的不過是一個血肉之軀，經不住太多的風刀霜劍；有病時，你更要心疼一下自己，惟有對自己的心疼，才能獲得戰勝疾病的信心和力量。
悟透了自己，才能把握住自己，你的生活才會有滋有味！
自己選擇，讓人批評
我有個基本觀點：自由即選擇，選擇即負責。
為什麼選擇即負責？因為任何選擇都會產生結果。結果可能是好的，也可能不好。但不論好與不好，都得有人兜著或扛著。誰來兜著，誰來扛著？只能是做出選擇的人。所以選擇即負責。
既然選擇即負責，那麼，你在進行選擇時，就只能服從自己的內心衝動。想想看，如果標準是別人的，埋單的卻是自己，豈不虧大發了？更何況，別人幫你做的選擇，能保證你的幸福嗎？按照別人的標準去活，有意思嗎？
同樣，既然選擇即負責，那就不能只往好處想。好處是任何人都不會拒絕的，需要擔心的是不好的後果。這種後果，我們可能承擔得了，也可能承擔不了。承擔不了，就只能放棄。承擔得了，則何妨堅持？
要知道：遷就世俗，一時無憂；違背內心，永遠痛苦。
所以，選擇的時候，只用想兩條：一、這是不是我非常想要或想做的？二、如果後果嚴重，兜不兜得了，扛不扛得住？如果兩條都沒問題，那就要！
人生能得幾回“二”，何不瀟灑“二”一回？
選擇已定，則任人批評。他人的批評能時時提醒我們：你是有人反對的，你也是會犯錯誤的，因此你沒有任何理由自以為是，得意忘形！
結果，我們就會少犯錯誤，甚至不犯錯誤。
也因此，我們要感謝批評者和反對派。
總之，決策時不妨“二”，執行和操作卻一定要小心翼翼，認認真真，如臨深淵，如履薄冰。一旦功成名就，更必須“無一日敢懈怠，無一事敢馬虎”。
The Splashes Of Life 生命的波紋
There is a famous Sioux Indian story handed down from generation to generation:
The grandfather took his grandson to the fish pond on the farm when the boy was about seven, and he told the boy to throw a stone into the water. He told the boy to watch the circles created by the stone. Then he asked the boy to think of himself as that stone.
“You may create lots of splashes in your life, but the waves that come from those splashes will disturb the peace of all your fellow creatures,” he said.
“Remember that you are responsible for what you put in your circle and that circle will also touch many other circles.”
“You will need to live in a way that allows the good that comes from your circle to send the peace of that goodness to others. The splash that comes from anger or jealousy will send those feelings to other circles. You are responsible for both.” That was the first time the boy realized that each person creates the inner peace or discord that flows out into the world.
We cannot create world peace if we are riddled with inner conflict, hatred, doubt, or anger. We radiate the feelings and thoughts that we hold inside, whether we speak them or not. Whatever is splashing around inside of us is spilling out into the world, creating beauty or discord with all other circles of life.
這是蘇族印第安人部落中流傳的一個古老的故事。
在男孩七歲那年，他的祖父帶他來到田邊的一個魚塘。他讓男孩丟一顆石子到水中，並囑咐男孩仔細觀察石子所激起的水波。然後他叫男孩把自己想象成那顆石子。
他說：“在生命的水面上，你也許能激起許多波紋，而你所激起的波紋也會打破別人的平靜生活。”
“要謹記，對你所激起的波紋中所包含的東西負責，因為這些東西會接觸、影響到許多他人的波紋。”
“你應當努力將自己波紋中的平和寧靜傳播給他人。當然，如果你的波紋中帶有憤怒、嫉妒，別人也會受到你的影響，因此，你要對它們負責。”這是男孩第一次瞭解到，每個人心中的安寧抑或不和，都會傳播給整個世界。
如果我們自己內心被衝突、仇恨、疑慮或者憤怒所糾纏，自然無論我們內心激起的是何種波紋，它們都會被傳向外界，與別人的生命波紋共同激起美麗，抑或是不和諧。
就不能給世界帶來平和寧靜。無論我們是否說出心中的感覺和思緒，我們都在向外界傳播它們。
